10 Things That Prove Our Ancestors Were Total Pervs

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4. Caligula (Rome)

Long before every 90’s rapper started doing it, Caligula was pimping big time – at least according to his enemies, who happened to write the history books. Not content with selling his sisters to other men, Rome’s most batshit-insane emperor converted his palace into a brothel, slept with anything that had a pulse, threw innocent spectators to the lions and tried to make his horse a senator. Then, because raising a farm animal to high office simply wasn’t insane enough, he declared himself God and had statues set up for the public to worship.

Generally regarded as one of the cruelest, most despotic men who ever lived, Caligula was eventually assassinated by his own senate; probably at the instigation of his backstabbing horse (citation needed).

3. Brethren of the Free Spirit (Medieval Europe)

Jacob-De-Backer-Garden-Of-Eden

Most of what we know about the Brethren comes from biased sources, so take this with a pinch of salt. If reports are true, the Brethren were an offshoot of Christianity who believed it was possible to communicate directly with God, provided you first experienced some energetic boning.

Ceremonies were held in the nude, sex was actively encouraged, and prayer was naturally achieved via orgy. They became so popular during the 11th to 15th centuries that the Church regarded them as a genuine threat, executing anyone suspected of involvement. Not that it really took a lot to get executed by the Medieval Church; getting a random boner was probably grounds enough for a visit from the Inquisition.

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